"We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." Tried to have a normal day today... Kids wanted to stay home and dump out all of their toys and play till lunch, then wanted to eat a lunchable, take a nap together, and play games.. We accomplished all of those things:)

Thankful for my best friend who will be taking Harrison and Mae tomorrow for a play date with her kiddos! Usually they are upset when I head to St.Louis, but they are pumped! Bags packed and ready to go for 6:30am!

Muffy has an appointment at 9am! Tomorrow will be a big day! One last bone marrow biopsy before transplant (is the disease still there?), kidney and liver check, and of course a swab to make sure she is virus free! If she test positive for a virus her transplant admission will be pushed back till July 6th:(

Please pray for us! There is a lot riding on the tests tomorrow! We are obviously praying for a healing to be revealed!

The last two weeks have been insanely stressful. I've come to the conclusion that Satan is determined- determined to crush my faith, make me angry at God, and push my buttons till I snap.... What do you do when Satan is on your heels? Do you know what that feels like?

The last two weeks my time with God has been an emotional mess (to be honest I'm sure if recorded everyone would have a good laugh). It's peaceful to know that I'm not mad or angry at God! However, others in my life who bring frustration, stress, qult, self-centered messes, etc. is where I stumble! God knows this! I also know Satan knows this... Spiritual warfare is not a JOKE and when Satan uses those around me to make me stumble instead of holding me up... I get angry! Unfortunately, I often forget that Satan is using them, the circumstances, my feelings, and my emotions... Is it really them? Or is it me letting Satan win!

Tonight as I focus on the last two weeks I admittedly let Satan win in some of those stressful situations. God is amazing! You know why? He forgives! He forgives me completely not partially! I pray I can follow in those footsteps and continue to forgive completely!

Family and friends I LOVE JESUS! I'm not perfect, but he is! Every day I sin, every day I repent, and every day He forgives! EVERY DAY I hurt God, every day I sin, and every day he forgives! Jesus is my EXAMPLE I LIVE BY! How about you?

When I saw this tonight it is all I could do not to cry. I come across as all "together," but inside I'm an emotional mess, scared,numb, and afraid. I've had the opportunity to serve, volunteer, and be there for others when "situations"like this one have happened to others in the community... Tonight I found myself holding back the tears and thoughts "now it is us." I can't even count the number of times I have shared statements such as "hey, let me know if I can do anything," "I'm so sorry!", and "I don't know what your going through, but here if you need me." Now others are saying that to us... Thank you to everyone who volunteered or registered tonight! Lives were saved and time will show that! Please continue to pray for Madison!

What is going on in a nutshell? Praying virus is gone if so admission date will be June 28 .  There will be advanced testing over the next couple of weeks to get ready for the transplant. Next Thursday we will have another bone marrow biopsy to see if disease is still present and there will be several tests done on her kidneys and liver. Dr. Bhalta has decided to use the cord instead of the donor. We all are going into transplant expecting graft vs host disease. This week we have been finalizing Madison's first bday party (Sunday), making arrangements for Harrison and Mae while Madison and I are gone, and finishing up ministry work.

God has revealed several things to Ryan and I this week. I've always been told God talks to us all the time and most of the time we are too busy to listen. Thankful I listened this week. Here is one of the scriptures God has lead us to this week.

2 Timothy 4

4 hI charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, iwho is to judge the living and the dead, and by jhis appearing and his kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; kreprove, rebuke, and lexhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 mFor the time is coming when people will not endure nsound1 teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and owill turn away from listening to the truth and pwander off into myths. 5 As for you, qalways be sober-minded, rendure suffering, do the work of san evangelist, tfulfill your ministry.

6 For uI am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my vdeparture has come. 7 wI have fought the good fight, xI have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is ylaid up for me zthe crown of righteousness, which the Lord, athe righteous judge, will award to me on bthat Day, and not only to me but also to all cwho have loved his appearing.

I feel this picture not only expresses Madison's personality, but view on life. She is a complete blessing! We started out our weekend with Madison getting her 1 year pics taken! Ryan and I have no clue where this past year has gone and so thankful Madison has been healthy for the majority of it. We purchased a trampoline at a garage sale, set up an inflatable pool, and continue to enjoy this summer weekend. Time at home together is limited and extremely important and of course we take advantage of every moment. Regardless, of your situation enjoy every day God has given you and TRY to make the most out of every opportunity God gives you! Enjoy the rest of your weekend for we are!