Good morning! Yes, 5 am and I'm up praying, thanking, and reflecting on where we were 1 year ago today! One year ago today, our family was being divided-(Madison and I in the transplant unit and Ryan, Harrison, and Mae at home) I didn't know that it would be 82 days before all 5 of us would be together again! Although, it has been a year (honestly, went fast) it still brings a flood of emotions when I look back! One year ago today, Madison began the transplant process (chemotherapy). One year ago today one of the greatest test of our faith began! Our character, our being, and God's purpose for us as a family unit and individually would be stretched, molded, and reshaped. We said we were Christians and we believed in God and the days ahead would test us and our actions would answer the biggest question of all, "Will you (Lindsay and Ryan) continue to glorify me (God) in the midst of the trials and mountains?"
While Ryan and I laid in bed Monday night I asked him to recap the last year in one word~ His word was "grace." He continued, "Through God's grace and love for us we are here! Through God's grace he protected, guided, and continues to show us his love. My word was "faith." It is easy to say you have faith in God when life is good, but true faith comes when times aren't easy! Honestly, you can see the depths of God's love, mercy, and grace when you are at the bottom. FAITH! I've said from the beginning of this season and will continue "God give me Faith!" No we aren't out of the storms and after last week I did find myself in tears! Problem after problem.... Tonight at bible study "Lies Women Believe" (thank you God for continuing to speak, guide, and lead me where I need to be) he reminded me that he will not take all my problems away! He will not fix my problems! God then revealed that life is hard (Romans 8:21-22); God is more concerned about glorfying himself and changing me than about solving all my problems (2 Corinthians 4:17); God has an eternal purpose He is fulfilling in the midst of my problems (Romans 5:3-4; James 1:2-4); God wants to use my problems as part of His sanctifying process in my life (Job 23:10); and NO MATTER WHAT PROBLEM I AM FACING, GOD'S GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR ME (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) God has loved us through the past year! No we aren't perfect, but God is! God is enough and his love for us will continue to be enough! Thank you God for loving us and allowing us to love others through this season! Like you; God isn't done with our family! We will continue to be shaped, molded, and one day God will make all things right! Sending love and prayers to all who have problems! May you (like us) keep your focus vertical and allow God to love you through! I love this picture that was taken last year.... you can easily see how our littles have grown!
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Ryan is all about getting fireworks, but with our track record, I refuse. No more hospital visits for us please! What can I say? This week has been a survival week- thankfully we all are at home together with a few more accessories, meds, and stories to tell our children when their older. It would be easy for me to post only negative tonight, but no time for that!!!
I just seen this message from Mr.Lawson! "When my tank or your tank is on empty I have to realize that God's tank never runs out. He reminds me that this challenge may be to trust and fall into the arms of my Father." Thank you God for giving me amazing spiritual leaders! 4th of July weekend is here! Thankful for my independence and even more thankful for those that serve our country! Indepedence is great, but with all great things comes great responsibility. As we all spend the weekend celebrating may we remember what has, is, and will be sacrificed. Happy 4th of July! Of course, I've had the song "Firework" in my head all day! |
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