This past year I learned other people's views of me simply won't get me into heaven. Yes, I've heard this all my life, but I completely understand it now.
It is so easy to turn our focus away from the Lord and on pleasing others. Early mornings, late nights, packed calendar, and completely over committed. Ever detail of our day is planned, organized, and we are exhausted before we even begin the day.
What I'm about to say may hit you so hard that your head spins.... Often when I would try to clear my calendar out I would think, "If I don't do it then no one else will!" The reality is this- yes someone will or the thing that has been stealing your time simply will be left behind.
I had the opportunity to step out of my life. God took me out of the crazy and placed me in a new place that allowed me to look at my life from a distance. Every relationship good and bad, every hurt, every failure, and every desire laid out in front of me. It hasn't been easy! It has been heartbreaking, humbling, and simply difficult.
The relationships/commitments that I poured into and even robbed from other relationships/commitments were brought to light. The question, "Why did you do that?" I realized my need to belong was driving my life.
The reality is I missed out on some really awesome parts of my life because I was trying to do good, be good---so I could fit in, measure up, and be noticed.
Bottom line- What God thinks matters! When we base our self-worth on what others think hurt will be the result.
Do you say the phrase "I'm so busy!"? I felt led to write this blog since most have been running around all weekend trick or treating, parades, and are now dealing with sugar loaded kids that need a nap.
We all are busy, have been, or will be tomorrow. We live going 120mph because there is no other way... Or is there?
What are some of your favorite childhood memories? (Share with a loved one). What is the common factor in them? Let me guess it doesn't involve sitting in a car waiting for something, it doesn't involve a clean house, and doesn't involve stress!
My favorite memories involve- my crazy aunts pouring fun into my life, days on the farm sitting on top of a rock pile (or crying over the fly population and pigs chasing me), board games, popcorn nights, trips to Wendy's in Centralia, swimming lots of swimming, and the first and only family vacation we took to Florida. I could turn into my grandpa Joe sharing story after story, and adventure after adventure.
What memories will your children or grandchildren have of their childhood?
I was intentionally busy before Madison got sick. It is hard for me to even say this out loud. The need to climb the success ladder, the desire to be "the go to girl," so busy helping others that I couldn't see the needs in my own heart.
As I write this, those close to me will probably think, "You seem busy to me!" One big life change is when I decided to be intentional! Intentional to love others and keep my focus on God. As before, I was busy simply because I was running! The list from what I was running from is long, but don't we all have those things in our lives we need to deal with and we simply keep moving it to the end of our to-do list.
Don't get me wrong I'm no where perfect! I stumble, I fall, but I'm intentional on being present!
Last night, with Ryan not feeling well; we decided not to attend a family gathering. We wanted to go, but needed to be home. Our old ways we would have pushed to being there physically.....
It's okay to rest, it's okay to spend the night with your kids chasing you around the house playing, rather than you chasing them at a party. It's okay to be intentional about not filling your entire week by the millisecond. It's okay to stop the ship and change course.
More on the topic tomorrow...
Nothing like worshiping and spending the day with my favorite people❤️ A wonderful conference! The theme was based on Hebrews 12:1... " And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." This is one of my favorite verses! The highlights of the conference were as follows:
1. God has a different race for each of us (ex: in track some will run the 100 meter, 200 meter, etc.) The first step is getting on the track! You have decide to join the race!
2. Run with a purpose! Run wanting the prize! God has equipped us individually to finish the race! There may be hurdles, setbacks, but all apart of God's divine plan.
3. We must keep our focus on the Lord! By focusing on the other people racing, how their race is going, etc. it can disqualify us from our race. Never cross the lines. Your race is simply that yours! Focus on the Lord.
One of the best parts of life is friendship! As moms we spend way too much time being serious.... Or do we?? Sometimes you just have to buy the shark and cow jumpsuit!
We loaded the kiddos up for an adventure today. Thank you to the owners of the Great Pumpkin Patch (we met them two years ago at a specialty growers conference). Bruce showed us around on the golf cart and shared lots of behind the scenes. This family works hard and even has 120 part-time employees. Of course, the only ones not getting paid are the parents/owners❤️ We sure loved our time with Bruce! Bruce and Mary Beth's children and their wives have continued to grow the farm to what it is today... Ryan and I just smiled when Bruce shared he planted three acres of pumpkins by hand only once❤️ that is the only way we put them in the ground❤️❤️
We pray you have enjoyed your fall season! We enjoyed our day and even missed our own little patch! I must say I have no regrets about our decisions to take the last two years off... God and family will always come first and all things have a season🎃🎗
This was my post on January 9th, 2015 (4 months before our lives turned upside down)
A few months before Madison was diagnosed I attended a Fred Pryor, "Time Mangememt class".
The class wasn't for me. A long day of listening to ways you can make the most of your time. I personally was a pro at conquering a to-do list, prioritizing my to-do list, living by a to-do list, and the one thing I needed had nothing to do with a to-do list!
I didn't need any ideas on how to push others out of my office so I could be more productive, I didn't need to buy a new calendar, and I didn't need to write out hour by hour what I was going to do each day! Why? I was already too productive, too time obsessed, and too busy!
I needed taught how to waste time! I needed to waste time in conversation with NO where to go, I needed to waste time in my pjs with the kids, I needed to waste time holding my babies, and I needed to waste a whole lot of time being! Unfortunately, the only thing that could wipe out my entire calendar of to-do was a sick little baby named Madison!
I can't even tell you the number of times I would show up to a meeting, conversation, or even answer a phone call and by the end have more "things" to do! A disease that kept spreading! The sick feeling if I didn't do it than no one would!
All those "things" that in the big picture mean nothing. The people pleasing "things" mean nothing!
The last year I've been wasting time to some! I'm fine and will gladly take the title "living life!"
The time I've been wasting has allowed for God's riches to consume me! Relationships that are filled with coffee dates, two hour conversations on the phone, nights sitting outside, and investment!
The relationships that were based on me pleasing, doing, etc. are very minimal. God has shown, used, and blessed me in the ability to forgive. The ability to love all, but not let negative blow out his light in me.
I get life is busy- I still clean, fold laundry, and keep our house moving, but I'm intentional about wasting time being! God needs quiet, unplanned time with you to refuel your life so your light can shine❤️