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After several tears and a 2 hour nap with the girls I think I can write about our day. A phone call this morning changed our entire day. A SSM nurse was calling to let me know she was coming out to retrain me on administering meds since I made an error a week ago. A complete mess I started crying. Why? Simply because I already know I made a mistake. I was getting meds lined out for Danielle so the kids and I could purchase hams for several families for Christmas. I made a mistake and hooked up the wrong pump. After several tears the nurse arrived. I like always was completely open and honest about what happened.... She told me she felt I was doing a great job and simply made a mistake. Also, she shared I wasn't under investigation she felt everyone was covering bases. I feel like the devil literally wants me to end 2015 screaming! He wants me to be angry, overwhelmed, and drowning in the situation we are in! The devil won my morning then thankful God gave me rest! I spoke to soon last night in saying we would be home next week. The truth is I'm beyond ready to be home. I need support and help with the kids. Unfortunately, Ryan has tried (late nights and even took off from work) to finish the house. When Ryan finishes the house we will set the date to be home. As hard as he is trying to not create dust in finishing up there is dust. Dust is very dangerous for Madison so we have to keep focusing on that. If we rush getting home and dust hasn't settled we will be back in the hospital. Thank you to all who have shown up to help Ryan we appreciate you. I wish doing home improvements wouldn't have been in our cards for 2015, but were necessary for Madison's health. 2015 has been humbling. We have seen, felt, and experienced so many things. Every day was a new day. New blessings, new trials, and more ways God shined his light in and around us. God has changed us as Christians, people, and parents this year. We are humbled by God's grace, love, and strength. 2015 you will be a year we remember forever and a year that is well with our souls.
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 I feel it is safe to say we are ending 2015 tired!❤️ Our last clinic visit of the year was a success! Heart, kidney, and liver are all on the mend and Madison is showing she is ready to head back home to country living! Ryan has been working very hard on wrapping up the house and packing up the apartment will begin this weekend!
We're heading home! A day filled with play... the girls played kitchen, doctor, and mommy today. Harrison and I played hours of "Guess Who?" Madison started in crying around 5pm and is playing with a fever.... Not sure what is going on. Praying it is teeth and nothing more... Temp at 7:30 was 100 degrees so praying we aren't in the emergency room tonight. (Let's be honest, I'm begging to God the temp goes down! Three kids in the er with all the other germs sounds like a horrible idea!)  I came across this "Ten ways to love" today. I spent some time looking up the verses with the kids and praying about them.... Some of them I do easily others I need to work on!
Kayley is doing better and better with every passing day. I've not had a chance to talk to my cousin Melissa, but I have shared every post on my personal fb page. Little Miss is moving and even sucking! God is good and continues to work through her! Fallon's surgery went well today and please continue to pray they are home tomorrow! Hayley also had a procedure today. Please continue to pray for peace and comfort! Not only is she sick, but away from her kiddos.  Madison UpdateMs. Danielle was exposed to a flu bug (she isn't sick, but can't come our way until we are sure she isn't going to get sick).... Therefore, the three amigos and I went to clinic. It was suppose to be a quick visit, but IVIG got thrown into the party so we spent 5 hours in clinic.... Overall, we all survived Madison wasn't keen on sharing her day with Harrison and Mae, but we all made it. Dr. Bhatla has given Madison permission to head home next week!!! Praying Madison stays healthy and we will celebrate day 175 at home in St.Elmo!!! I'm beyond excited about being a family of five every evening! Having Ryan around to help me is a huge blessing! In addition, in the event that a situation happens like today when Danielle is exposed to sickness I have more options (in theory that is... I feel the flu his hitting everyone). Kayley UpdateKayley is doing better and looks as if heading back to New Mexico will be happening in the near future...This was Reece's post today, "KAYLEY IS GOING TO LIVE! No matter what else, we praise God for that gift! She will be severely disabled. It's unlikely (but possible) that she will ever be able to speak or sign or understand language, but with therapy she may be able to regain some movement. She has reflexes on both sides but she has "high tone" meaning her movements are very stiff. We're not entirely sure what that will look like for her or our family. She will probably require a level of constant care that will require Melissa to stay home with her until she starts school, which is heartbreaking to Melissa because she loves her job. We'll likely have to move to a one-story home sometime in the not-too-distant future. It will be an enormous change to our lifestyle and planning for the future, so we're going to have to spends some time considering that and grieving over the changes in what we had hoped for our future and hers. Her heart and lungs continue to improve. As I write this, she's undergoing pressure trials in view of extubating her. If she succeeds, we'll be heading back to New Mexico very soon, which is exciting in and of itself. Today's "verse of the day" seems appropriate: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10" Fallon UpdateFallon is having surgery tomorrow! Please be in prayer for a quick recovery!!! Here is Katie's post~
"Please keep Fallon in your prayers tonight. We're scheduled for surgery tomorrow to have her ostomy site revised. Mom and dad are really nervous. On a better note, we did have a good Christmas and Fallon got a bike and swing from Santa that she really enjoys. We hope everyone stays dry and please remember to keep all of Fals friends in your prayers❤"  Since 2012 when we turned our lifestyles around and started living in our means we have an annual review on our monies! Some months are better than others, but at the end of every year God shows that he meets our needs! This year has been no different! The needs have been greater and God meeting them has been the same! He provides! As we look to 2016 we know 1. We will be traveling to St.Louis at least twice a week 2. We will be paying a sitter on those days 3. We will be paying back our home equity line that we needed to make necessary improvements on our home for Madison 4. We will be living on one income since I'm needed at home to care for our kids 5. We are expecting medical bills to start trickling in.... Are we drowning? No, we will have to rearrange our resources, trust, and obey! As you look at 2016 what do you see? Be honest with God, yourself, and your spouse! One thing Ryan and I know is life happens! In 2012, we paid off all of our debt and started living in our means. When we started living in our means, leaving teaching to stay at home with Harrison and Maebry was manageable. When God called me into ministry in 2013 he blessed us with turning it into a paid position at the end of the year. The monies were used to pay for insurance and all the expenses that come from adding a third child to the picture. 2014 came and went and for the most part stayed on our financial track...2015.... Ryan would agree we gave more this year and also received more.... We have learned that regardless of our financial situations when God calls us to give either our resources or our time we need to obey him. Sometimes what God asks us to do is so big we can't even comprehend how we can do it...., but we do! As you sit down this week to review 2015 and look to 2016 ask for God's guidance! Sometimes if you get rid of those wants or distractions God can not only meet your needs, but use you to be his hands and feet.  Madison and Family Update!
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