Day 146: In the Midst of the Screaming

For all who wait, For all who hunger, For all who've prayed, For all who wander
Behold your King, Behold Messiah, Emmanuel, Emmanuel

Today was the fifth time I got in the car and heard this song.... God has wanted me to share with you what was going on the first time I heard this song. So here I go.... 

I try my best to see the good in all, the positive in all situations, but last week I struggled.... The kids and I were on our way home from clinic and I was screaming inside. Angry, frustrated, hurt, and disappointed. Honestly, there wasn't one single thing it was 6 months of little things that came crashing down. All the things were so small I never dealt with them, but when added with 50 others it led me to SCREAMING inside. 

To say this season has been easy breezy or that I've handled it all with no flaws would be a lie. Every day I wake up and face the mountain of life. The same mountain that all of you face. The mountain's terrain is different for each of us, but the mountain is there.  

As the kids' screams filled the van tears fell... (then the ugly cry came).  This song came on the radio and the kid's screams became silent. 

The world waits for a miracle
The heart longs for a little bit of hope
O come, O come, Emmanuel
A child prays for peace on earth
And she's calling†out from a sea ofhurt
O come, O come, Emmanuel
And can you hear the angels singing

The drought breaks with the tears of a mother
A baby's cry is the sound of love 
Come†down, come down Emmanuel
He is the song for the suffering
He is Messiah
The Prince of Peace†has come
He has come, Emmanuel

As the song continued Madison began to cry and my soul began to heal. Would I repeat the last six months? YES (I'm crying as I type those three letters). Often I think to myself when people complain, say hurtful things, etc.  "If only you knew." The truth is God knows. He knows what's been seen, done, felt, given, and more importantly our soul. God has placed us all where we are for a reason. We may never know until we are called home, but one day we will know.  

Glory to the Light of the world
Glory to the Light of the world
Glory to the Light of the world
Glory to the Light of the world

Thank you God for sending Jesus to earth! Thank you God for sacrificing your son for me and my sins, so I can spend eternity with you in heaven. Thank you God for equipping me with the strength, love, and dedication to make it through this life. Thank you for blessing me with Ryan, Harrison, Maebry, and Madison. For you know how long I prayed for them. Thank you for trusting me and giving me all the joys of being a wife and a mother. Thank you. Thank you for giving me the best gift anyone could ever give. Thank you for giving me life! Thank you for seeing the best in me when I don't see it. Thank you for providing for our family.​

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Madison and Friend Updates​

Madison's kidney numbers were even higher today. We will be trying a different formula since she is also losing weight. Her vomiting is controlable so we are still on the track to be home mid-January. I'm not packing since God's plan and mine are different at times.

Haley is on +34 post bone marrow transplant and is back in the hospital. Please be in prayer for her that the medicines begin working and she is home for Christmas. FB page Haley's Fight.

Fallon is home from the hospital, but needs our prayers. FB page Faith for Fallon.

Kayley is stable and still on track to get off the ventilator tomorrow. They've also quadrupled how much she can eat. Overall she's doing well, God is good!

Thank you!

Thankful for the Patton Family that is raising money for Madison's benefit account tonight! 
Head to Baseball Card Connection in Effingham tonight to see Spencer.
​Get an autograph and help us raise money for the Madison Lash Benefit Fund!
We are beyond blessed with amazing friends!