Over the course of the next few days my blogs are dedicated to all the mothers who have crossed our paths. Words will be shared that we hold deep in our hearts and don't say. I don't want sympathy for that isn't why I'm writing it. I do want you to pray and think about the words. Thousands of moms across the world live this life. I pray you are never one of them.
One of the many joys of having a newborn baby is sharing them with those you love. You can't wait to take them out into the world, to family gatherings, church, weddings, etc.
Harrison was born in November of 2010. We tried and waited for Harrison for four years. After his arrival Ryan and I were so concerned to have him in public during flu season. We didn't attend the family Christmas that year. Honestly, if you asked my family how often they have seen us at family gatherings they would say very few. Our kids had a stretch of sickness the last five years.
Looking back on the last five years and how cautious we were without knowing our kids had bone marrow suppression is purely a God thing. The winter of 2013-2014 was filled with sickness and even Harrison being in the hospital with low platelets (8,000). Doctors thought a virus attacked his bone marrow and called it hypo-plastic anemia.... We didn't make it to that Christmas either... So our track record is no family Christmas in 2010, 2013, or 2015.
The children we have waited for and wanted are finally here. We want to share them with our family, but every time we turn around illness keeps that from happening. The relationships we have with those close to us are strained. We aren't out to dinner with extended family, my kids aren't playing with cousins, and all family gatherings we typically miss. For our family we believe it is temporary, but know Harrison and Mae could and probably will be sick more than other children. For several of our friends this is a permanent reality.
In the walls of the home laughter and wonderful memories are shared. The sadness of your family missing the milestones hurts, but thankful your child is hitting them. You call to share, but telling someone is way more work than fun. You see to actually call means time away from your child or children that requires all of you. When you finally find the perfect time to call for you it isn't for the one you are calling.
The phone used to ring with dinner invites and now the only ones who call are doctor offices, home health, and therapists to schedule visits, discuss med changes, and delivery times. You understand everyone is busy or afraid you are too busy to talk.
You love people! You love socializing, birthday parties, lunch dates, dinner dates, and shopping. Now you are in your home with the baby or babies you prayed for. The only adults you see are all in the medical profession. The doctors/nurses frown when they see you all crowded up with other moms, but they fail to realize these are our friends and only adults we see each week. When family does come over everyone is excited and loves showing off❤️
All the moms I have meant are amazing! They love their kids and the words above are the unspoken ones. They want their children to be healthy! They want to be at the family gatherings! They want to be "normal!"
The reality is God has chosen them. God has chosen them to be the mother to their child/children. They are the best mother for their child/children. They choose every day to focus on the positive or find something positive at the end of the day. Their child/children spends the most time with them and want them to know they are loved and wanted!
*Unspoken Words II: Why we choose to be positive.