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It’s okay to not be okay. This week was an emotional roller coaster for several big reasons. Four years ago, I was holding Madison in the transplant unit trusting God’s will for her life, one year ago; burying my grandma, counselor, and friend, six days ago praying over my dad that his heart would be strong enough to make it to Springfield and God’s light to shine bright in all, and three days ago bringing some of my childhood things home from grandma’s basement.
Now what? If a masters in counseling has taught me one thing “it’s love yourself enough to extend grace to yourself.” Often we set goals and unrealistic expectations for ourselves & it’s okay to say, “I’m not ready!” Coming from a person who takes pride in finishing projects early, tasks before they’ve been assigned, and being a few steps ahead... I’m giving myself grace to say I’m not ready. Losing grandma has been hard and painful. Regardless of the amazing 84 years she had on this earth we miss her. We miss her hugs, greetings at the door, presence, how she put peanut butter on our toast, and always knew what to say or facial expression to share when life was scary, disappointing, or joyful. I’m not ready for her things to be moved or the house to be rearranged. Regardless of how silly that may sound; grandma spent most of her life in that home... making sure it was welcoming and ready for the next person who walked in the door. The reality is regardless of what I am ready for change will come. For today I will spend time getting myself ready for that change. In what area of your life do you need to extend grace to yourself?
7 Comments
7/26/2019 06:42:21 pm
We have a purpose in this world and to be here means we have a mission that we need to do in this world. There will be challenges and there will be tests that we need to pass through for us to be a better person in this world. I want to offer this journey to the parents and people who helped me along the way. There will be a time where people will need to die and that is the reality that is very sad. I will be happy to walk with the people that loves me. 11/9/2019 02:12:49 am
Losing someone we love is very difficult. Sometimes, It's hard to accept that they are permanently gone in our lives. I lost my father last 11 years ago without any signs that he will immediately leave this earth. It was so heartbreaking in my family. It took me 2 long years before I fully recover. And up to this very moment, I get teary eyed whenever I remember our memories together. 10/1/2020 03:55:02 am
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