The truth and bottom line is our kids are sick. We pray it was the common cold, but the reality is they are sick.
As it feels everyone is running around you like a chicken you are way too numb to respond. You pull it together because God gave you a child to take care! Once you hear the words that all parents fear you begin living day by day. The sad reality is you should have been living that way your entire life. Today is a blessing and another opportunity to share with them God's love. When you start living day by day you start living! You no longer have time to focus on all the negativity of this negative world because who wants to pass that on to their kids? You do what has to be done! Not every day is filled with smiles some are filled with tears, but even through the tears you find something to be positive about! Why? Your child needs you. We all have heard/read our days on earth are numbered (Job 14:5), but are we living like they are? The moms I have meant cherish their children. They speak positivity, love, grace, and forgiveness. They show them that each day is a gift for tomorrow is never promised. There are days that Satan thinks he wins. Days that positivity is drowned by the hate of Satan, but even in those days God's grace and love wins! How would you love and live differently if you weren't granted tomorrow? Are you guaranteed tomorrow?
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Unspoken Words
Over the course of the next few days my blogs are dedicated to all the mothers who have crossed our paths. Words will be shared that we hold deep in our hearts and don't say. I don't want sympathy for that isn't why I'm writing it. I do want you to pray and think about the words. Thousands of moms across the world live this life. I pray you are never one of them. One of the many joys of having a newborn baby is sharing them with those you love. You can't wait to take them out into the world, to family gatherings, church, weddings, etc. Harrison was born in November of 2010. We tried and waited for Harrison for four years. After his arrival Ryan and I were so concerned to have him in public during flu season. We didn't attend the family Christmas that year. Honestly, if you asked my family how often they have seen us at family gatherings they would say very few. Our kids had a stretch of sickness the last five years. Looking back on the last five years and how cautious we were without knowing our kids had bone marrow suppression is purely a God thing. The winter of 2013-2014 was filled with sickness and even Harrison being in the hospital with low platelets (8,000). Doctors thought a virus attacked his bone marrow and called it hypo-plastic anemia.... We didn't make it to that Christmas either... So our track record is no family Christmas in 2010, 2013, or 2015. The children we have waited for and wanted are finally here. We want to share them with our family, but every time we turn around illness keeps that from happening. The relationships we have with those close to us are strained. We aren't out to dinner with extended family, my kids aren't playing with cousins, and all family gatherings we typically miss. For our family we believe it is temporary, but know Harrison and Mae could and probably will be sick more than other children. For several of our friends this is a permanent reality. In the walls of the home laughter and wonderful memories are shared. The sadness of your family missing the milestones hurts, but thankful your child is hitting them. You call to share, but telling someone is way more work than fun. You see to actually call means time away from your child or children that requires all of you. When you finally find the perfect time to call for you it isn't for the one you are calling. The phone used to ring with dinner invites and now the only ones who call are doctor offices, home health, and therapists to schedule visits, discuss med changes, and delivery times. You understand everyone is busy or afraid you are too busy to talk. You love people! You love socializing, birthday parties, lunch dates, dinner dates, and shopping. Now you are in your home with the baby or babies you prayed for. The only adults you see are all in the medical profession. The doctors/nurses frown when they see you all crowded up with other moms, but they fail to realize these are our friends and only adults we see each week. When family does come over everyone is excited and loves showing off❤️ All the moms I have meant are amazing! They love their kids and the words above are the unspoken ones. They want their children to be healthy! They want to be at the family gatherings! They want to be "normal!" The reality is God has chosen them. God has chosen them to be the mother to their child/children. They are the best mother for their child/children. They choose every day to focus on the positive or find something positive at the end of the day. Their child/children spends the most time with them and want them to know they are loved and wanted! Tomorrow's Blog: *Unspoken Words II: Why we choose to be positive. Sometimes you just need your great aunts to come over and play dress-up! A winter Sunday! All I can say is it's cold outside. My parents brought us lunch which was a huge blessing! Fixing and cleaning up three meals and two snacks leaves no down time.
I think we all are adjusting to be being home... I just feel like we went on a missions trip for 6 months and are trying to adapt our new selves in our old surroundings. Many of you know what I'm talking about... You've been on a missions trip or church camp and when you get home it's just different. I enjoyed a much needed late lunch with a dear friend. It was nice getting out and socializing for a couple of hours. The only downside to leaving the house is you shower before and after.... When it's this cold you just want to stay in warm clothes❤️ In addition, you have to be home in time to administer all the evening meds... I started carrying them in containers so much easier❤️ Please continue to pray for Madison and all of our friends. Tomorrow's drive to clinic will be a cold one! Pray for safety! Madison spent her morning looking out the door at Ryan working. Several times she cried wanting to be outside. God knew we all needed visitors so when Great Gran called we were excited! Great Gran and Pop came for lunch and some playtime. Much needed time with them!
I answer at least a thousand questions each day... Some of which my wonderful three children already know the answer too... Where do they get that from?? After much pondering the last two days I came to the conclusion it was me.
I ask questions all day long and asking questions is good until you ask "those questions" you already know the answer to... "Those questions" when hearing the answer out loud will break your heart even more. You know the answer so why ask the question? Every one will answer that question differently. This upcoming week I'm going to work on not asking those questions I already know the answer to and instead ask God to intervene |
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